Posts by troubled mind

37

Shunning,, let's twist the knife in a little deeper now !

by man in black in

this morning i took my dog who is a therapy dog over to the hospital and visited with several patients.

it is quite an experience, and it really helps people undergoing medical treatment to calm down and relax.. my wife was one of those patients, she is undergoing some tests before getting her gall bladder removed which will probably be sometime tomorrow.. afterwards i took the dog home, cleaned her up, and changed my clothes.

since i was alone i drove over to panara to try one of their breakfast sandwiches, several of the nurses told me that they are pretty good.

troubled mind

It is definitely their loss MIB ! You and your wife are good ,kind people ,and do not deserve to be treated in such a cold manner . I can only shake my head at the ridiculous behavior witnesses call love .

The work you do with May is so wonderful . You must have such inner satisfaction knowing what you do now brings such immediate benefit to the people you bring her to see (sure beats a morning of knocking on doors !)

Your experience made me get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach . I know exactly how it feels when former lifelong 'friends' now walk by and see right though me or give me the, 'rotten egg smell ' ,look .

Everyday I see someone from our old hall .....every freakin day . My school bus route takes me by my brother in laws house (the ubber Elder) . He has his own floor installation business ,and has all witnesses working for him . So every morning when I drive by.... he , my two nephews , my daughter in laws brother , and at least three other young men that use to be very close to our children ...all stand in his drive way preparing for their work day . Everyday they see me and quickly turn away or look down ....some days it hurts worse than others

But lately I have made it a point to stare right at them SMILE BIG and wave You see they are the jerks not me . I am a friendly person ,and I won't let them cause me to become like them (soul-less) . One day shopping I ran into an Elderette ,we kept going down the same aisles ,finially I laughed and said ' Glad you got to see me today ' ,she even had to smirk at that . Humor is my coping mechanizism otherwise I would totally be a troubledmind

So I guess what I am trying to say is your too nice of a guy to let them hurt you ,you have done nothing wrong . Hold your head up smile and pretend they are strangers that just sucked on a lemon . Smile and feel pity for their unfullfilled dreams .

MIB , Hope your wife's surgery goes well and that she will be home and feeling better soon !

p.s. Hug that little pooch of yours for me

47

UK newspaper interest in "mentally diseased", any Witnesses want to come forward?

by cedars in

following the recent activity surrounding the "mentally diseased" apostate article, a major uk newspaper has expressed an interest in covering the story.

the correspondent as been told about this forum, and he is particularly interested in hearing from those inside the organisation, as i think few people are aware of how much unrest there is actually within witness ranks at the teachings of the society.. would anybody like to be used as a source, either anonymously or otherwise?

if so, it might be worthwhile saying a few words on this thread.

troubled mind

The words in the Watchtower breed hate and fear . When someone leaves it is assumed it was because they wanted to persue some ungodly course as stated in the article above .

I was raised a Jehovah's Witness and walked away at the age of 44 . I had been in the same congregation over 30 yrs. When I stopped attending immediately people became suspicious instead of concerned . Many old friends just stopped talking to us without asking us why we left . My daughter in law also just stopped attending ,she was told by her best friend and sister in law that she was "bad association" ,and that their friendship was over unless she came back to meetings . Control over others is a major issue with in the organization and was a major flag of concern for me .

I have Witness family members that no longer have any contact with me . My husbands family also has begun shunning us with out ever speaking to us about why we ended our association . My husband's sister in law walks right by us in the grocery store refusing to acknowledge our 'hellos' ,why ? Because she has been conditioned by the Watchtower to believe saying a greeting would mean she approves of our apostate ways and taints her somehow .

The religion has gotten away with this behavior of spreading hate speech under the laws of freedom of religion, and it always will . My hopes though ,are if more journalists speak out about what is going on people will be educated ,and forwarned about the sect that knocks on their doors Saturday mornings .

11

Going back to the hall for the first time in four months

by lohengren in

jw
friends

four months ago i left home after arguing with my pops.

haven't been to a meeting since, nor have i talked to my father.

tomorrow i'm gonna go see my 8 year old brother give his first talk.

troubled mind

I think that is nice of you to go through that in order to support your little brother . Do you still get to speak to him ? Just becareful not to get his hopes up that you may return to meetings (if that is indeed not your plan).

Let him know this visit was only because you love him . It can be confusing for little kids in this situation. They may even believe that they have the power to get you back into the "ark of salvation". Speaking from experience . I was 10 yrs old when my older brother left the JW's and I always thought I should be doing something to help him back . I fantacized at every convention he would come in just to see me ....it was really sad .

Parents unwittingly put thoughts in the little kids heads too ,that they have some power or ability to sway their sibiling back ....a lot of pressure for a kid ,that doesn't know yet ,he can not control other peoples actions .

58

So why

by bushido8000 in

it has become very apparent to me very quickly that this forum is dominated by ex-jws.

i have many questions and topics to present but i first want to know who i am presenting these questions and topics to so i have 2 questions that i would like as many of yall to answer as possible.. .

question 1: did you leave the organization out of the blue or were you first disfellowshipped?.

troubled mind

Walked away suddenly ,not Df'd just couldn't stand feeling so unhappy , empty ,and tired of hypocrisy and gossip......

Four yrs later the Elders came to the door (the one with the Christmas wreath on it ) trying to say they missed us ,loved us , oh and by the way 'we really just want to know if you celebrate holidays now ?" After several weeks of harassment a Police officer was asked to explain cease and desist to them ...Don't know if that led to me being DF'd or not because they are not allowed to contact me anymore ahhhh peace and quiet .

69

Dec 15 2011 WT: We don't care if you have a f***ing BRAIN TUMOR get your a$$ out in service!!

by baltar447 in

jw
friends

oh dear sweet jeebus:.

i enjoy making return visits and helping out on bible studies.

on my better days, i like to witness from house to house.barbara, who has a brain tumor.. i carry only a very light magazine bag.

troubled mind

Shamus you have a reply PM

69

Dec 15 2011 WT: We don't care if you have a f***ing BRAIN TUMOR get your a$$ out in service!!

by baltar447 in

jw
friends

oh dear sweet jeebus:.

i enjoy making return visits and helping out on bible studies.

on my better days, i like to witness from house to house.barbara, who has a brain tumor.. i carry only a very light magazine bag.

troubled mind

A very long time ago .... When my three boys were very young 8,5,and 2 , I went through a severe depression . I was seeing a specialist and taking medication . I had horrible panic attacks that would then through me in to low moods of depression . I was missing quite a few meetings and service . I would force myself to get our home ready for the congregation book study that was held there on Monday nights .

After a few months of not 'snapping out of it ' our book study conductor spoke to my husband about getting me back out in service and that 'He" would work with us as encouragement . (the real pressure I am sure was it didn't look good that I was so low in hours and yet the study was still being held in our home .Which in turn made him look bad ) So they talk me into going out on a Saturday in their car group after a very short time I told my husband 'I need to go home " ; Instead we were told to get one more door ........ I walked up to the door behind my husband in a full blown panic attack ,sobbing tears ....I hid my face behind him as he spoke to the householder . When he turned around and saw how emotionally in pain I was ,he felt terrible . He took me back to the car and told the Brother we were done for the day .

I have to tell you that was hard to share ....but it just goes to show how FAR off Witnesses are from the love and kindness Jesus spoke of in the Bible . Their only agenda is to make the Publishing Company quota PERIOD . You do not matter . Thay do not care for you as a person , you are a slave expected to follow the agenda .

Shamus You are So right that JWs need all the Paxil , Prozac and Xanax to help them deal with how dead inside this joke of a religion really makes them feel . Until they open their eyes they will continue to blame 'this old system' for their ailments .

In our hall we had a sister with deformities from arthritis and she was always held up as an example for her aux service time ,it was always done in a way to shame any of the younger healthy ones as having no excuse compared to her .

Guilt ,shame ,what a lovely way to worship .

35

Tuesday, September 11, 2001 - The Day My JW Faith Began to Die (finally)

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

it was late june of 2001 that i was appointed as an elder at the amazingly seasoned age of 26. a true lifelong goal had been achieved.

i had to be appointed an elder before 30. already, peers were starting to be appointed.

i had to make it.

troubled mind

Thank you Jeff for your post .

It really got me to thinking about what 9/11 did to my faith too . My family and I were all still in the org at that time and quite involved . I remember the push for service that month was to just use the Bible ,and be consoling to those we met . It left an impression on me that at the Thurs. night meeting that week was business as usual ...other than a brief mention in the final prayer of those that had died not much else was said . On TV I had been watching how people were really pulling together for each other and how heroic some had been . Then at the meeting it was as if nothing had happened .Silently I pondered what the meaning of this was ... what WOULD it be like when the GT started ?

I think a crack in my faith began that day . I saw the world was full of people that did have brotherly love for each other ,strangers were risking their own lives to aid others . It slapped me in the face how important it is to be really involved in the community in ways that met peoples real life ,immediate needs .

I took part in going door to door that month trying to share hope ,but in my heart I was feeling something major was missing . That day I began feeling as if I was on the outside looking in ...

24

Stressful Session with Uber-Zealous Parents--The Mermaid needs a hug!

by Cadellin in

okay, for those of you who don't know, i was raised jw by really great though uber-zealous parents.

i'm now an adult and have been inactive for about two years due a bunch of reasons, the primary one (or at least the one that got the ball rolling) being the pathological intellectual dishonesty of the wt in how it handles secular quotes and citations.

anyway, my parents are aware of all that and have left the issue alone for about the last year.

troubled mind

ME ><YOU , consider yourself hugged

I usually reply when questioned about my inactivity by saying : I had to quit for my own mental health and happiness . I try not to get into the doctrine and such . I just rely on my experience of being a Witness the first 44 yrs of my life ,and knowing what does and does not make me happy . Those still in still can not understand that thinking ...(it's a cult)

45

Im disfellowshipped

by newcomer1982 in

think it was announced yesterday that im disfellowshipped.

will these feelings of guilt and panic ever go away?

my head is so messed up.

troubled mind

So to save his position in the Kingdom Hall your Father is willing to kick you ,and his grandchild out of a house he has formerly allowed you to live in ????

Does that sound like 'true Christian love' or even 'natural affection' ?

To me it sounds like manipulation ,and spiritual blackmail ... Because they know you will be faced with increased hardship without their assisstance ,and this will make you easier to control when you feel you have no other choice than to follow 'the rules' of the organization .

Now is the time for you to decide ,are you going to stand on your own two feet ? Do you want your own child to grow up in a religion that coerces parents to behave this way ?

Do not fall into the trap of guilt being laid at your feet . It is a tool used to control you . You are an adult I assume . You have the right to make your own choices now .

Find sources to help you in your area for single Mothers . Local Churches can be a big help ! Many have programs willing to help a person such as yourself ,especially in a small town .(I live in one myself ,and was amazed after leaving the Witnesses ,how very helpful and truly organized local Churches were in helping those in need .)

Chin -up girl you can do this . Much encouragement and good advice can be found on this site . Courage to you !

21

As A JW Were You Generally Feeling Guilty Over One Thing Or Another?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i believe the witnesses keep people in the cult by means of using guilt as a tool.

it seems people who leave the religion tend to stop using meds and anti-depressants.

exjws seem more content and less filled with worry and guilt.. what do you think?.

troubled mind

I was just thinking about this today . One of the main reasons I faded away from the meetings was not so much because I didn't believe they had the truth I just couldn't stand being so unhappy . I was so sad because i always felt guilty ,even when I had not done anything wrong . Whenever I was part of a group either at work ,or at the KH ,and the Elders gave a reprimanding talk or my boss came down on the sales staff for weak performance ....I always felt it was my fault ....how crazy is that ??? I now know ,after being out for 6 yrs that it WAS the Watchtower influence that caused these feelings .

I no longer have those guilt feelings and I no longer suffer from episodes of depression like I did then . I feel happy now ,genuine,normal ...